Relationships between Turkish boys and girls

In my view Turkish couples are not so different from West-European couples. On the streets you can see boys and girls walking hand in hand everywhere. Sometimes you really can see the love in their eyes. They are smiling, kissing, …

Before I went to Turkey I had a different image of it. I thought you were not allowed to kiss in public or even to walk hand in hand. I also thought that the boys were dominant to the girls and that most of the girls had to wear a veil on their head. But in reality it’s totally not like that. And that’s a good thing I think.

I think Turkish relationships are also very strong. For example: two of my flat mates have a girlfriend and they are like many years together. In Belgium they speak about relationships of 2 weeks and then it’s over. Maybe Belgium boys and girls are more independent and don’t have the need to stick together all the time. I think that’s a difference in comparison with Turkish couples which do everything together and don’t leave each other one moment alone.

Only If you go to clubs you see the guys dancing like ‘idiots’ and the girls are sitting next to the dance floor being bored. I really don’t know why, but most of the time it’s like that. On the other hand if the girls see a foreign guy (e.g. Erasmus), there is more chance they will dance with them. But I think that’s normal, because foreign people in every country looks like exotic and different what makes them attractive.

This is what I experience in Eskisehir, but I’m not sure if it’s the same situation in the East or West of Turkey. Maybe in those areas they are more conservative and women are maybe even discriminated by men. But I probably have to go there to see it for myself.

Bayram in Syria

During the holidays of Bayram (sacrificial feast), I went to Syria together with 5 other Erasmus students. This unforgettable group consisted of Blazej (Poland), Anita (Poland), Andrius (Lithuania), Daria (Poland) and Tas (Hungary).

We decided to go by hitchhiking till the border of Turkey with Syria. In 3 groups of pairs we started our big adventure. My team mate was Andrius. After a while we were the second group which caught a car. One fully day of hitchhiking brought us to Adana where we spent the night at the flat of two couch surfers. Of course we celebrated our strenuous day. Some cheap wine did his work.

The day after we met a Turkish guy who picked us up by the road and he figured out how to put us at the border with Syria. He took us to a bus station and bought us tickets. Before he also bought us ‘Adana Kebab’. He was too good for this world.

The bus brought us to Antakiya. A taxi brought us to the border. We were lucky with our driver, because at the border he arranged everything for us. He even passed by all the waiting people and he entered every door he saw to fix our visa and stuff. Despite this we had to wait a long time before everything was in order.

When we finally crossed the border we first went to Aleppo to meet another couch surfer, Ido, to stay with. While introducing ourselves he told me that he lived for 15 years in The Netherlands. I was very surprised. I was never so far away from home and the first guy I met, could speak Dutch. I was so happy to speak my almost forgotten language again.

Because Ido didn’t had enough place for all of us, we spitted up into a hotel team and an Ido’s team. Daria and me became the guests of Ido. After a short night we met each other at the clock tower. Our day became very busy. There was so much to see in Aleppo. We visited a citadel, markets, ruins, .. and in the evening we ended up in a very good restaurant where we discovered Humus, a kind of Mayonnaise.

Also the second night in Aleppo was a short one. But this day made it all worth. With a mini bus we drove through beautiful landscapes on our way to Apamea. During the ride we could visit some ruins and also a little village where we ate a delicious Falafel. Our final destination for this day was Krak De Chevaliers. But unfortunately the castle was already closed when we arrived. So we decided to visit the castle the next day in the morning.

Near the castle there was a hotel. Because of the good weather we asked the owner if we could sleep on the roof. That was no problem, but he almost asked the same price as for a room. After checking that roof, we decided that sleeping on the hill would be the same or even better. It became history. With our last money we bought some bread and spirituals. We had a great night near the castle. The night was again very short like all our nights on this trip, but when we woke up next to the castle we were stunned by the view.

After a quick visit into the castle we went further to Palmira. Palmira was a lovely place. We really felt like in the middle of the desert. We arrived in Palmira an hour before sunset and we were able to watch it from the top of a castle. It was really great despite their was a radio tower just in front of the sunset. After that we went to a nice restaurant and we ordered camel meat. It tasted just like a normal kebab, but we tried to believe we were eating a camel. The rest of the night we spend in front of our hotel. We were all very tired, but we had a cozy evening talking with the owner and smoking the nargile. The next day in Palmira we discovered the ruins and old tombs in the desert part. We also took a ride on a camel. It was quite an experience for all of us.

After Palmira we went to Damascus, the capital city of Syria. We expected a big and modern city, but it was not like that. We arrived at night and from our couch surf flat we saw everywhere little lights and we heard festive music. But when we were walking through the city by daylight we really disliked this place. First of all, it was so crowded and everybody tried to sell something to us and I felt a little uncomfortable about my belongings. There was a kind of a bad atmosphere in those streets. The second thing was garbage everywhere and the smell was terrible. It looked like the people even didn’t care about it. The driver of every taxi or bus we took, was continuously throwing his dirt out of the window. The only good thing in Damascus was ‘Uncle’s Party’. When we were walking through the Christian part of Damascus we got invited by some Christians at their place. They were celebrating the birthday of their uncle. They gave us some Raki and they talked about the differences between Christians and Muslims. They said that some Muslims in Syria who are very poor, because when a man has more than one woman and they have many children, they just drop them into the streets and they have to live on their own. Because of that many Muslim people don’t have good education or even no education. The Christian population don’t understand their way of life: Discriminating behavior against women, throwing garbage into streets and the most annoying thing is that they hate Christian people and try to provoke them.

We considered it was time to go further to our last location: Latakia at the Mediterranean Sea. We arrived at a very interesting hotel. The owner was a big fan of Kuifje (Tin Tin), a Belgian strip cartoon. I felt like home and was checking out all of his Tin Tin gadgets and books. Later on we discovered a very good restaurant. We concluded it was the best restaurant in our trip. It was an Italian restaurant with food imported from Lebanon. Strange concept but we had a good meal. Back in the hotel we started a last-night-party on the roof were we would sleep. We had a lot of fun with drinking some beers and playing our favorite songs on the laptop.

The next morning we decided to go to the beach. But when we entered that beach we were a little bit disappointed. Like in Damascus the beach was full of garbage. Even you could find pieces of glass scattered on the sand. Only the warmness of the sun made our day. We started to miss Turkey very much and we were very eager to go back ‘home’.

Back at the border we started to hitchhike again. This time it took us some more effort. It took us two days and one night to get back to Eskisehir. In that one night we slept three hours in a gasoline station for buses. It was actually not so bad. We had a warm room and we got free breakfast from the employee of that place. Long live Turkey and their helpful people, we all thought.

Pazar

Today I went to a pazar accompanied by Błażej, Joanna, Daria and one of my turkish flat mates, Ismail.

At the pazar we met with Haydar Yildirim. He is a 52 years old man who sells baby clothes together with his wife. He started his pazar carreer when he was 10 years old by helping his father. He likes his job very much because he feels to be part of life with it.

Haydar has 3 children. one is a teacher, one is a student and the last one works at a bank. He doesn't expect his children to become sellers like him at a pazar, but sometimes his children help him with his job.


He sells his baby clothes at different pazars on each day of the week. Before he started to sell baby clothes, he was selling apples from his farm. But because of health problems and bad incomes, he changed his goods into light clothes.

At the end of our conversation we asked him how he thinks about his live. He answered convincingly that he is very satisfied with his live and that he is very happy with his job.

For me the pazar looks a little bit unfamiliar. In Belgium we don't have something like that. But I enjoy visiting those pazars, because it's very cosy and crowded at the same time. You can find many things for low prices. Also the way how the sellers try to sell their goods is very unusual for me. They are shouting and almost singing to attract the consumers to buy something. For me it doesn't work. I only buy goods from sellers who are quiet like Haydar. Not that I bought some baby clothes, but it's just to say that Haydar (second from the left) is a calm and friendly man; also his friend is (right).
I enjoyed talking with him. He was very enthusiastic about his job. And to make our day complete, a tea seller offered us a tea for free.

Traditional Turkish Kiraathanesi

Yesterday I went to a traditional Turkish Kiraathanesi Called Gönül. This time with another flatmate of me, who explained me that the word Kiraathanesi means something like 'a place to read'.

When I entered the place it was already 11 pm., but the place was still very crowded with many people who were playing enthusiastically their games.
The owner of the place invited us to a table with him. He took his time to answer my questions. I asked him for example why there are no women in places like this. He said that it's not common for women to come here. This place is more like a men's club, where they can speak out loud about there work and home situation. Women are not really forbidden to enter, but it's just not happening. This culture of meetings for men dates back from the Ottoman's time and is until now one of the Turkish traditions.

The men in the bar play many different games such as Tavla (Backgammon) and Okey (in Belgium known as Rumikub). The owner noticed that most of the time, the loser of the game has to pay the bill. In real those losers are most of the time in debt with the owner. But because they all know each other, it's not a big deal.

After this explanations it was time to take some pictures. The owner proudly showed every corner of his bar. And everybody in the place wanted to be on the picture.
He also putted my attention on his snack bar, because that's very exclusive in bars like this.

At the end I realised that this bar isn't quiet different from the bar for homeless people. It's just the same concept and also the people looked the same for me. So I wonder why their has to be a place for homeless people apart from the traditional Kiraathanesi.

I finished my (free) drink and went home to sleep.

Kiraathanesi for poor and homeless people

Last Sunday I visited, with one of my flatmates, two bars for homeless and poor people. The bars are also called Kiraathanesi. Before I went to such a bar I was expecting some dangerous or weird place with people who are isolated of the community. But happily after all, it wasn't anything like that. The people in those bars were very friendly and eager to get on the picture with me. They also liked to talk about their occupations in the bar. Such as playing games, have a betting or just have small talks about their past days.

On the following picture you see me with an owner of a Kiraathanesi. He loved to be on the picture with me. Later he also explained how to play Tavla (also known as Backgammon). Unexpectedly I even won the game.
These funny looking guys were playing the cards and they tried to explain how it works, but I couldn't exactly get the rules. When I asked who is winning, they both said 'I am'.


On the first Kiraathanesi I joined some gentlemen in front of the bar. Because it's not allowed to smoke inside, there are always people sitting outside.

These guys were betting on horses. They were arguing all the time which would be the best horse today. During their discussion they could make some time for a picture.

After a couple of teas and some traditional games I went home with a new experience in my pocket.